By Your Side
by feralfemby
Summary: The Good Place's Team Cockroach reflects on their lives and how they've changed in the company of one another. Written as part of a countdown until the series returned.
1. Chapter 1: Janet

_**AN:** This is part of a series from the point of view of each of the main characters on TGP. It's basically just some thoughts and feelings. There are six parts. Hope you enjoy! _

She could have spent millenia watching that ticker tape. Or standing in the silence of her void, wondering if there'd come a day when she wouldn't be alone. It wouldn't have been tedious. Not even if her knowledge of the universe wasn't constantly being updated and occupying her. She could entertain herself now, too. Somewhere along the way she must have gained the ability to daydream.

She smiled to herself. It was true what she'd said some time ago, that she was more than what she'd once been. She was almost hesitant to refer to herself by product name when she thought about it now. She wasn't _a_ Janet anymore. But she was _Janet._ There was something different about that. She knew there was.

She looked over at Michael. His face was lined with worry, and full of pride. He was preoccupied, carefully monitoring the only things he cared about in the universe. It was so new of him to care like this, she knew. She knew everything. Even things she shouldn't know—pain, and fear, and love.

Oblivious and non-omniscient, the humans kept living their lives with her and Michael watching over them. And she knew they both had changed. And, with another secret smile, she knew how.

They had both become a little more human.


	2. Chapter 2: Michael

Michael had spent millenia learning how to make humans miserable. It brought him joy. More than that, it was all he knew about how to interact with them. He was an immortal being; he knew pretty much everything. But somehow, for the first time in his immortal adult life, he was learning again. Learning how to worry. Learning how to fight for something. Learning how to become someone new, how to make every moment count. It was exhilarating.

He was no stranger to change. He'd always been an innovator. It was his own brilliance that led to the discovery of these flawed, strange humans and their potential to be good. It was his own design that led to the world turning upside down. But, human (and maybe natural) as it was, he'd never expected the change to come from him. From within him.

It was true that those four humans were all he cared about. It wasn't just about his own safety anymore. Maybe it never had been. Like Eleanor, his brightest pet cockroach, he now belonged to something bigger than himself. More important than the rest of the universe. For the first time in his immortal adult life. He fought for something more than misery. And the reason was 'friends.'


	3. Chapter 3: Eleanor

A lifetime as a loner had left Eleanor pretty content with herself. A childhood of deprived isolation had prepared her for the outside world. She had spent her life on her own, safe and cared for by none other than herself. That was how she'd always been: looking out for number one. It was working just fine.

Until she almost died. When suddenly the world seemed bigger than the things she could take care of, other than herself. And yet, she felt a sense of responsibility toward it, for the first time maybe ever.

That was why she finally sought guidance. Like Chidi said, they weren't in this alone. She couldn't exactly be good by herself.

Eleanor had always been a fast learner. Adaptive. That was how she'd learned to survive on her own. But now she had to learn something new: how to become a part of something bigger.

It didn't happen at first or all at once. But it happened all the same. Through time and toil, it happened. She started to _care_.

Suddenly somehow it wasn't so hard to find allegiance to a group. Because after everything this group had given her, she owed it to them.

They owed it to each other.


	4. Chapter 4: Chidi

It had never been a blissful life for Chidi Anagonye. It had never been easy, healthy, safe, anything nice or simple like that. And most of it was his own doing. His life—and afterlife—had been mostly a torture chamber of indecision, the walls lined with the ethical ramifications of his every faulty action. It was still that way.

But something was happening. Now that his very soul was in jeopardy. Now that things actually mattered, somehow, his heart for once didn't feel torn. His mind didn't feel conflicted. Sure, he'd still probably have a minor panic attack if he had to pick a flavor of muffin right now. But he didn't have to pick a muffin. He just had to make it through this universe intact. And, if he couldn't do that, he'd better live how he wanted while he could.

That's why, when it came down to it, it was easy to kiss Eleanor. Well, no, it was the furthest thing from easy. But it was something more than easy; it was necessary. If the world was ending, if it really was about to be all over, he had to do something. For once in his life. Something that he wanted to do. It was such a relief to finally do something he didn't have to agonize over. That he didn't have to cause others agony over.

It was a relief to be a better person.


	5. Chapter 5: Jason

Jason Mendoza used to be content with his life. He never thought he'd have a reason not to be. But this year, this lifetime was different. He was suddenly forced to question, to evaluate and realize when things weren't working anymore. He had new friends and new interests, and a chance at helping people. Maybe the idea in the study was right; he did get more ethical after a near death experience. With all the things that had happened to him recently, he felt like he couldn't avoid being more mindful.

In addition to feeling more moral lately, he also felt safer. After all, he'd cheated death. But it was more than that. He felt a pull to be a better person. It was almost like there was someone watching over him, making sure nothing happened to him and that he did the right thing. He felt like he wasn't in this world alone anymore. Like somehow, some way he didn't understand, someone was responsible for him in a way no one ever had been. And he was actually getting somewhere because of it. He didn't understand exactly how, but he guessed the universe was on his side. Because Jason's life was getting better. He was actually on his way toward getting the life he deserved.


	6. Chapter 6: Tahani

Tahani had never been in peril, save for that she created herself. It was only due to a mysterious benefactor that she had escaped her self-initiated doom. Escaping certain death was what it took to save her from herself. For the first time in her life, she had a sick sense of perspective. She thought of all the time she'd wasted with anguish and shame. She wished she could have done things differently. Regretted what had been, even more than wishing for what could have been.

But nearly dying had done more than that. It had helped her start a new life. A life of purer motivations, of giving back for the sake of participating in society. She'd survived for a reason, she knew she had. And that reason changed, solidified, developed into something newer and more powerful each day.

It was to become a better person. To rebuild the foundations of a relationship with her sister. To escape from an old family into a new one, one that had the potential to be everything her own had never been. It may have been to fall in love, for all she knew.

Tahani had never been one for self-reflection. But everyone was capable of change.


End file.
